13 reasons to despair.

People in this world are complicated, not that I know of any outside but actually we all are full of complications. When we are apparently satisfied, we try to find a reason to be upset about but when we are upset, changing that may consume a lot of time and everything good in the world and chemical X. This is how it is..

So lately, I was watching this show that you must have seen at every individual’s snapchat, instagram and Twitter and Facebook and tumblr feeds. Well if you haven’t been sad lately or need a reason to dwell into utter deep darkness then I must recommend you to watch that show. For me it’s nothing more than just a stereotype American high school drama, portraying how filthy the life of a student is, facing all the consequences and eventually adopting all the negativism including drugs, violence, suicide and what not?

The first season ended with an extreme torture of actually witnessing a teenage girl cutting her wrists open in order to commit suicide. The mother of the victim I must tell you, an epitome of brilliance. How enacts sorrow and grief of losing the loved one is indeed remarkable.

Anyhow, the second season had a lot of hopes raised, everyone was looking forward to it, umm including me. I fell in love with everything in the season 1 for that maybe the darkness and despair within me made me fall for it. But yes I am way past the teenage life to be actually taking it on my nerves or trying to hurt myself for real, unlike numerous kids around the globe trying to commit suicide or actually ended up killing themselves.

Basically season 2 is a sequel yet adding so much more to the previous story that for once the viewers may start hating on the victim of season 1. I mean who actually kills them self when they have family, friends and have dated a couple of good looking folks(revealed in season 2)?? Everything about the show is so upsetting at the same time really addictive that you have to look for more.

Ironically the season’s last episode somehow or the other ends well or may be not even after a gazillion twists and turns.. hanging us all in the middle of such dark and absurd feelings that cannot be described in words.

P.S I am not a critic yet I have free choice of words, lel. I haven’t even proofread my text but was actually so eager to put something that could be different than the rest of my posts.

Peace

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The man inside.

Us humans are called social animals for a set of absurd yet genuine reasons. We love to make friends and have people to spend a good time with on the other hand we abhor, envy and plot a gazillion things in our heads to destroy their entity.

I wonder if maybe in sometime Purge becomes a real thing and assassination becomes legal then we all will turn into deadly criminals.

How can we have two sides? Why can’t we just be the lovers, the kind of people everyone might like and we are in the good books of all but, hey! Here’s the pun in it, why would someone living a miserable life be happy to see you prosper, be happy and all carefree enjoying the blissful time?

When ranking becomes everything and we have discriminated ourselves on the basis of their social statuses. When we aren’t ever satisfied for what we have and are always striving for more. When the new so called social apps are making us de socialised from the people we are sitting right next too, stalking those who are better and whose lives seems to be elevated from ours. The melancholy lies with in us and yet we are too weak to accept the bitter reality.

This is the demand of the world today, one cannot live a peaceful carefree life not even those who have apparently everything.

The man inside is actually hamstrung to the norms and rituals of todays era, more likely the ones living in the ties of the Victorian era.

Everyone deserves freedom, happiness and honour, its the fundamental right of all.

Biased, change.

“ I would have killed all the jews of the world, but I kept some to show the world why I killed them” –

says the person who cleansed the slate of the world yet leaving a few monstrous souls behind, those who are now seen on the map of the world once unknown to all. Those who take lives and shelters of innocent souls without even paying a heed. Whining about the Holocaust but creating their firm roots on a self made one. Snatching the land that never belonged to them, causing an apocalypse that the world sees everyday.

I don’t consider myself as a religious critic or so but this is not acceptable or in the boundaries of my humane league. Everyone has the right to live after all we all have to die one day, that’s the ultimate truth then why are we taking the responsibility of the angels of death?

Terrorism has no religion, belief or ethnicity its a polluted contagious air poisoning the whole world. Not anyone in this world with a kind heart would support the devastation caused by the Nazis but why don’t we actually stop the contemporaries? Till when would we be wear the veil of ignorance? Maybe this needs to change.

Simple nothings

I wake up in the morning with a vivid dream,

Inside of me lie a tons a worries and fear,

Fear of the the undone, fear to be not enough

Darkness prevails with the sun brightens the day

From the outside, but the inner me lives in utter dismay,

Me.

Avoiding the realities, living in a mess

Hoping for something better in the dungeons of haunting way,

Why just me or is it someone else?

Fighting with the person inside me,

Pleading for more, something better not best.

With a cup of coffee in my hand yet not being able to forget

All the past memories and flashbacks,

Leaving unhealing wounds to nurture till death.

To the heroes of the nation.

Pakistan, the land I belong, the place where courageous, loving and esteemed people reside. Sadly in many cases it’s not known as mentioned above. It’s supposedly tagged as a land of terrorists, bomb blasts, target killings and God knows what?!?

I must agree to all of it, but will that be fair to point it with just the menaces as which country doesn’t have its loopholes? Well, I am not here to discuss all the facts and figures regarding the actual perspective of my land as I am not the most suitable person for it.

Almost everyday we get to know about a martyrs story, leaving behind a family to mourn for the rest of their lives. I never paid much of a heed to it although we should but this is how it goes right? We lament about other people’s miseries and devastations but thats all we do, unless or until someone close to us or related to us gets in the stroke of this ill luck. So, earlier this week I heard a news that cause chills down my spine, leaving me and my family in utter shock and nemesis. My cousin brother who is an Army Major Waseem Jaleel was severely injured in a wretched blast at Bajaur agency, with the grace of Almighty his life was saved but he went through serious injuries, yet he stayed strong and faced all of this with great valour and bravery. This is a Pakistani soldier, many like him are there fighting against the war of terrorism, against those barbaric assassins, away from their homes and loved ones, losing their lives to bring peace not in just our country but all around the world.

Will that still be fair to mark Pakistan as a land of Terrorists? Will the grudges against us last forever? Will we not be internationally acknowledged for the measures that’s been taken for the world peace?

Just a silent tribute to our heroes, may you be protected and be safe from the evil incarnated felons forever.

To my Cat, Peachy❤️

Since a very early age I had this habit of feeding the animals that I see, patting them, caressing them, being an animal whisperer. I never thought or planned to adopt a pet for myself, neither did the people around me appreciated.

Just by luck or maybe it was in my fate, I got a little 2 month old kitten from my cousin that I named Peaches. She was cute and adorable and a fuzzy ball of fur. From the very first day we bonded in such a way if we were meant to be together. I actually turned into a person who admired cats, not that I hated dogs but I did love my cat more than anything in this whole world.

Cutting it short Peachy was my companion, my partner in solace and my cuddle buddy, who was there when nobody stayed around. Whose warm furry presence lightened my whole day. My four feet friend became my soulmate.

Never had I ever thought of not being with her, since the love I had for her met no bounds. But one sad day she left me, leaving darkness all around. Speechless, I was as I had no idea how could the people around me banish the love of my life. Yes, she didn’t die, she was given away, YES!! How could I survive without her? The depression and anxiety still lasts with in me and I am bound, restricted not to talk about her.

So I did, never talked to anyone about it but kept the feeling that is still building up like a volcano pleading to erupt, like a tsunami taking over the lands. Alas! This is life and still everyday I plan on how to get my baby back.

  • The first day, 4 years ago.

Hoping for a healthy and long life of my little ball of fur ❤️😭

Lost!

I want myself to be lost with in the protecting arms of thee, where love prevails, peace reside and felicity functions.

I want to feel the aches in my body, the pain that hides with in the hodgepodge of the chaotic temporal land.

I want to believe in my existence, have a reason for living and cherishing the moments let it be in disguise.

I want to flutter like a butterfly away in the glittery blue sky and free myself from the shackles, tied stiff, leaving bruises behind.

I want to be lost once and for all…